I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
