isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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