don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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