found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
should my penis look like a turkey
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
try to milk me bitch
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