you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
