Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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