ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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