im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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