When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
