So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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