Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
