the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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