I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
