then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
