But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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