Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/