It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.