you win again, gameday.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.