the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
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