He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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