OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
