If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
