so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
