Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
