I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
