I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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