We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
