But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
