I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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