I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I cannot find my penis.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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