If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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