I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize