She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
