Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
