I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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