I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
