Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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