Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
