We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
We named our party play list daddy issues
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
