Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize