I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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