he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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