I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
