Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
well I can't set my house on fire every night
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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