is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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