got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
