im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
