sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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