she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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