you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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