He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Randomize
