i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
