Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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