I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
