Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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