she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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