Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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