She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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