my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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