It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
