i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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