Where are you?
In a non slutty way
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
