in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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