I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
