I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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