Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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