um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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