The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
