Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
im about as happy as oj after his trial
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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